Jewish Humor

The cantor´s voice
A cantor brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000." There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room.
Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So Nu, what did you do with the money?"

The Mann Auditorium
An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the Israel Philharmonic. He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the building. Finally he turned to his escort and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author.
"No," his friend said, "it's named for Fredric Mann, from Philadelphia."
"Really? I never heard of him. What did he write?"
"A check".

A sign in a window
In Philadelphia the following sign was in the window of a business:

"We would rather do business with 1000 terrorists than with a single Jew."

Ordinarily this might be cause to get the anti-Hate groups involved but perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors, Goldstein's Funeral Home, simply make their statement.

Star trek

The Saudi Ambassador to the U.N. has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets his American counterpart.

They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America".

The American says, "Well, your Excellency, anything I can do to help you I will do."

The Saudi whispers, "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians and Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset.

He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."

The American laughs and leans over. "That's because it takes place in the future."